From Scrubbing Walls to Intentional Living
- Josiane Joseph
- May 20
- 4 min read
My dad has a booming voice that fills a room, so though he rarely told me directly, I would often get the dreadful news while crafting or on my way to get a snack: Aunty E’s arrival was imminent. In shock, I would drop what I was doing and run to find my sister to commiserate over what I had overheard.
The trepidation at just the sound of her name was not because she was unkind. She is sweet, jovial, one of the best cooks I know, and often came bearing gifts. Yet her visits meant one thing: cleaning and lots of it. Before her arrival floors would be swept and mopped, and the kitchen scrubbed, and everything in the rooms was put away.
However within the first few days of her arrival she would find my siblings and I to share in her sing-song voice that it was time to get up because the bathroom should be cleaned. (The audacity!)
As we would spend hours scrubbing tubs, floors, and toilets, I would hear her little song about more to be done. The walls needed washing and corners needed dusting. Sometimes when I would report a task complete, after her inspection, she’d say that she can’t even tell that I cleaned it at all. Then Aunt E would share how I might complete it correctly– thwarting any efforts to gain affirmations for a job shoddily done.
It seemed unfair. If my own parents did not articulate such high expectations, how could she swoop in and expect such consistent cleaning? It was exhausting. It made me question my understanding of what was good enough and acceptable. It shaped me in ways I could not understand.
Years and experience allowed me to see Aunt E’s chores differently. Wisdom reshaped my memories with her from a blight on summer vacation to an unprecedented investment by a loving aunt careful to instill the value of organized living.
Because of Aunt E, I am not afraid to try again. In fact, I see the value of repeating a task again and again with adjustments until it is done better. Because of her, I give my honest opinion especially when asked because that is the only way to see improvement. Because of Aunt E, guest to my home have repeatedly commented on how impressively clean it is and they sense the time I have taken to honor and welcome them. Her objective honesty and attention to detail changed my life. Those long days of cleaning were more than chores; they were lessons in discipline, resilience, and a standard of excellence.
What once felt like criticism was really preparation. She was teaching me that excellence requires effort, that shortcuts rarely serve us well, and that the details we overlook often matter most.
As an adult, I laugh with her, my siblings, and cousins about those days, but most importantly I can also see clearly how they influenced my journey. I was blessed to have an aunt that instead of sitting by watching me bungle my way through homemaking, would share her own vacation time in carefully guiding me to excellence.
Her lessons became my foundation for intentional living , the practice of approaching life with honesty, clarity, gratitude, and purpose. Instead of currying our favor by leaving us to naps and endless TV, Aunt E stood on her truth with kindness and imparted wisdom. In the end she earned her respect and position as favorite aunt for her investment. She is why when I am serving in my community or building personal connections, I carry with me her values:
Excellence over mediocrity
Honesty over convenience
Intention over autopilot
Sometimes, the lessons we resist most as children become the values we cherish most as adults. My aunt, the same woman I once wanted to hide from, is now one of my greatest teachers. She exemplified that pursuing excellence makes the difference between average and exceptional. In the long-run it also is a clear sign of love.
If this message resonated with you, you’ll find even more insights like this in my book, A Year of Intentional Living. It’s filled with reflections and prompts to help you live with purpose—and remember that you never walk this journey alone.
You can purchase it on major retail sites including:
Dr. Joseph curates speaking engagements, individual and group coaching, and inclusive environment consulting—helping individuals (and ultimately organizations) live healthier and more unified lives on purpose.
Send a message on the home page for bookings.
If you enjoyed this article, please leave a gift and a comment (below). Your generosity aids in creating new posts. Thank you.
Venmo: @DoubleDocJ
Cashapp: $DoubleDocJ
Overview of From Scrubbing Walls to Intentional Living:
People that love you will correct you.
Be open to feedback because that is part of the path to excellence.
It may take time to see the benefits of the work you put in.
Try to recognize the wisdom from those who care for you.
Discipline is essential to success, and it requires practice and guidance.
Comments